Tarnished Crown
by Sarah1281
Summary: Lady Aeducan might be back and a big hero now. She might destined for paragonhood and her indulgence may be all that keeps Rica with her son and off the streets. Still, Rica remembers what she did to Bhelen and to all of Orzammar. She'll hold her tongue as a matter of survival but she has no intention of forgiving any of it. For dwarf appreciation week on Tumblr.


Rica watched apprehensively as the new hero held sweet Endrin.

If she had had any say, Lady Aeducan would never have even lain eyes on the baby but, of course, that was not how the world worked. Lady Aeducan was the head of little Endrin's house and if she chose to she could throw him out onto the streets and strip him of his name. If she chose to, she could keep her nephew but throw Rica, Sereda, and their mother back to Dust Town where they would be worse off than they were before any of this had happened. What Rica really needed to do was to try and secure Lady Aeducan's tolerance.

But it was difficult.

It was so very difficult.

Rica had been trained to smile and say nothing or to return cruelties with kindness her entire life. Pride was all well and good if you could afford it and Rica had never been able to. None of them had. Endrin would be able to and she needed to remember it was only by Lady Aeducan's grace that she had any hope of watching her son grow up.

Lady Aeducan was holding Endrin wrong. She looked terribly awkward, as though she had never held a baby in her life before. It might very well be true. In her admittedly still limited experience with nobles, they did not often interact with their heirs at this young age yet here Lady Aeducan, Endrin squirming in her arms, staring at him like she wasn't quite sure what was supposed to happen next.

Rica had known how to handle babies since before she could even remember. Sereda had always been more her responsibility than her mother's, at least since Sereda's father had left.

Lady Aeducan. What was she supposed to think? Not that she could really afford the luxury of an opinion but it was hard to help it, sometimes.

She had first seen her up close and personal when the she was waiting for Bhelen in his room, as he had requested, and the princess and her second had just walked in. Mortified to be seen, she had fled and made her apologies to Bhelen later. Princess Aunn had seemed more confused than anything and so indifferent in the face of her terror. Her second called her a 'playmate' and it made her face burn.

The very next day, Bhelen's family imploded and it was all Lady Aeducan's fault. She had killed her brother out of greed and had the stone to deny it when caught in the act. The king had retreated out of all too understandable grief and Bhelen had been left all alone. She had done all she could (Sereda was missing by that point but that could not begin to compare with what poor Bhelen was going through and how could she hope to provide any real comfort?) and it seemed to help.

Somehow, they made it through. Somehow she was able to give Bhelen the son he needed now that he was the heir. His father was behaving very strangely, from what he said, but little Endrin seemed to cheer him. She had never been so scared, those months after she became pregnant and before the birth. What if it was a girl? Oh, she would love any child of hers. She didn't know how not to. But a girl would ruin her.

Endrin was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Finally, after months, it seemed Orzammar was ready to move on from Lady Aeducan's treachery. Her crimes eventually claimed the life of the king who did not have the heart to live in a world where his children had ended up as they had ended up. She would not dare say so but he seemed not to appreciate what he still had in Bhelen, in his grandson.

The old king was dead and Bhelen was ready to take the throne.

Except. Except that horrible Lord Harrowmont wanted the throne for himself, wanted to take advantage of the Aeducan's weakness. Except Lady Aeducan had returned, full of hatred for those who had only loved her and who she had betrayed.

Rica had been so furious when Bhelen had told her about it. She had even dared confront her about it when they had met by chance. She said more than was wise. She had been the one to inform Lady Aeducan of Endrin's existence in the first place. Oh, she could not help it. She was so angry and Lady Aeducan was so wicked and she was right before her. She could not remember precisely what she said but it would have been more than a casteless should ever say to a noble.

But she hadn't been noble then. She had been a disgraced kinslaying exile only let into Orzammar on the technicality that she was a Grey Warden! How could she have known that that was going to change? How could she know that Lady Aeducan would be welcome back, would take Endrin's place as the head of the house, and be strongly favored to be named a paragon in the days to come?

It was madness.

The only thing that had given her any pause in the Lady Aeducan was a complete monster category was when she had gone to Dust Town to slaughter the carta (how many carta members had she known? How many had she cared for?) to make that beastly Harrowmont seem anything but ineffectual. Sereda had been locked away, it seemed. She was weak but she came home. Lady Aeducan hadn't had to do that and her sister's return had left her quite confused until Bhelen had explained it to her. No one was ever truly cruel all the time. There were always exceptions. Kill the parents but left the innocent child live, pet the nug and refusing to allow it to be eaten. It was a whim, nothing more. It cost nothing and it allowed the most vile of murderers to look themselves in the eye and say that they were good people. All Lady Aeducan had had to do was refrain from killing her. She had already slaughtered the carta. What had that cost her?

And if she had had any doubts, what happened at the Assembly had silenced them. Lady Aeducan had returned, after being gone for _weeks_ , with the truly outrageous claim that the long-dead Paragon Caridin (who was conveniently dead again) had made a crown for Harrowmont. Well if he had chosen Harrowmont, if he had even existed at all, it was only because Lady Aeducan had explained the situation in such a way that he would choose a usurper over King Endrin's own blood. Lady Aeducan's own blood.

When Bhelen had objected and demanded proof of such wild claims from such a notorious liar and killer, he had been cut down where he stood. When his outraged followers spoke against her, they were slaughtered in the streets.

Lady Aeducan had cut a path through them then went back to the surface, not even bothering to clean up the mess she made. She had what she wanted. She had the dwarven army and she had a king who had always unfairly favored her and had a moral compass no stronger than her own.

And now she was back. Now Rica's child belonged to her and she could do what she wanted with him. He would be _her_ heir, if she did not have children of her own and toss Endrin aside like yesterday's trash, and she would raise him to hate his father and everything he stood for. He would be raised to believe the same lies that passed for truth in the Shaperate.

And there was nothing Rica could do. Even trying to convince him of the truth could only endanger one or both of them.

And now there was only the two of them and the baby in this room, sitting on the floor as if rank meant nothing.

"Oh," Lady Aeducan said, blinking as Endrin's little hand smacked her in the face. "Is he…does he want to go down?"

"He is at an age to crawl, Lady Aeducan," Rica said evenly.

"Ah." She set Endrin down and he immediately began to crawl all over her lap. "I will confess, Rica, that I do not have much experience with children. My brother was only two years younger than me."

That she would dare bring Bhelen up now, after what she had done, with her hands all over Bhelen's son…

Sereda had said it was a good thing. She said that now she had no man to tell her what to do or whose favor she could lose. Her son would be Bhelen's only son and it wasn't as though Lady Aeducan seemed in a hurry to find a husband of her own.

To some extent that would be true if Bhelen had not had a horrible beastly sister who did not have any reasons to think kindly of her. And Bhelen had spoke of _marriage_ , even if she had never dared believe him. Even if she had never dared to speak of it to anyone. What did it matter now?

Bhelen was dead and it was Lady Aeducan's mercy that she found herself at. Oh, to be at the mercy of a person like that.

"My sister is four years younger than me," Rica said when it became clear a response was expected of her. Perhaps it was natural to think of Bhelen when looking at his son but, by the stone, she did not want to speak of him now. Not to _her_.

"Ah, so you have done this before," Lady Aeducan said.

"I have," Rica said, bowing her head. "And if I had not, I have had half a year's experience with little Endrin."

"I wonder sometimes," Lady Aeducan mused, "about the wisdom of our naming practices."

"My lady?"

"It just seems it's a lot to live up to," she said. "Your son is Endrin like his grandfather the king. He'll never be able to escape the association. Everyone's going to expect a lot from him and of course he's the only heir we have. I just worry about the pressure. We can't afford for him to falter and the best way to stop someone from living up to what you want for them is to let them feel the weight of what is expected of them."

And whose fault, exactly, was it that Endrin was the only child they had? Bhelen had had no intention of stopping with just one heir.

"No matter what his given name was he would still be an Aeducan," Rica pointed out. "He would still be heir to a house that fielded nine Aeducan kings. He would still be from the line that saved Orzammar during the first Blight. His aunt was still the one to stop the Fifth Blight within a year with next to no surface support."

"That is true," Lady Aeducan said distantly. "And being an Aeducan is certainly something to be proud of."

"Besides," Rica said, as waspishly as she dared, "his grandfather was touched by the gesture."

"I can imagine," Lady Aeducan said, nodding. She wasn't there when her father wasted away out of grief for what she had done. "It is a heady thing, to have a child named after you. I've had a few named after me and I can only imagine there will be more as the years go by. And to have a family member, your only grandson…Well, I can see why my father would appreciate it. It just may not be easy. But perhaps it would not be easy no matter what his name is. This is not what I would have wanted for him."

What about what Bhelen wanted for his son? If she had such a problem with the way things stood she had only herself to blame. None of what she was saying was making sense.

Endrin reached up and grabbed her ear.

"Ah, no," Lady Aeducan said, pulling his hand away. "You are just determined to injure me today, aren't you? You are most certainly Bhelen's son, aren't you?"

Rica could not help the sharp intake of breath and she stiffened.

Lady Aeducan's eyes met hers. "That was…thoughtless. My apologies."

What good would her apologies do? She would say sorry for insulting Bhelen and possibly questioning Endrn's parentage but not for killing him in the first place? Not for everything else she had done?

"I understand that you hate me," Lady Aeducan said abruptly.

"It is not my place to hate you, Lady Aeducan," Rica said automatically. But, well, she wasn't wrong.

Lady Aeducan sighed. "Don't give me that. You hate me and you fear me and you have every reason to. I may have saved…your sister but we both know I didn't even know she was down there." It was painfully apparent she didn't even know her name. "I killed the father of your child who you seemed to care for and I have been accused of doing a great many terrible things. Bhelen…he and I had our issues and I doubt you heard anything good about me from him."

Had their issues? She had killed him. She had destroyed _everything_. Her brother had _cried_ over what she had done. And she called it 'issues.'

"As you say," Rica said neutrally.

"I can't change the past," Lady Aeducan continued after a moment. "What is done is done."

"Would you?" Rica asked before she could stop herself. Reckless. She shouldn't have said that.

"I…don't know," Lady Aeducan admitted. "I killed him for a reason. But he was my brother."

As was Trian.

Lady Aeducan smiled mirthlessly. "As was Trian, I know. These things are complicated and you will never believe that I didn't kill him. And why should you? If I didn't then it was Bhelen. Not directly but that doesn't make it any better."

What was there to say? Lady Aeducan was saying nothing that wasn't true but this was not a conversation of equals, could never be a conversation of equals. All Rica could do was sit still and hear it.

"I cannot promise you much. And I do not expect to be believed but I would say it nonetheless," Lady Aeducan said. "To begin with, Rica, I know that you are uncertain of your place here. I understand."

Did she? Did she really? Her place had never been _uncertain_. She had had everything until she had thrown it all away and then she had nothing. Then she was back but only as a Grey Warden and it was clear exactly where she stood. Now she was a noble lady again. There had been changes for her, yes, but no uncertainty.

"Your mother's behavior is appalling and I do expect her to behave herself," Lady Aeducan said flatly. "Your sister needs restrain herself and to learn to behave as befitting her new station. You I have had no cause for complaint about, your words to me during my exile notwithstanding. But you are my nephew's family just as much as I am. I will not have him learning bad habits but I have no intention of turning you out onto the streets. That is one concern you need not keep."

Lady Aeducan was right. She did not believe her. Why should she? What had Aunn Aeducan's word ever been worth?

"I do not find it probable that I will have children of my own. Endrin's position as my heir is secure and, should that ever change, he will be provided for. My cousin Piotin always made out quite well."

Rica bit her tongue so she wouldn't remind her that that was a cousin she had killed herself.

Lady Aeducan sighed. "Yes, I did kill Piotin in the end, in the attempted coup, but that's quite unrelated to his being my cousin. And I imagine you're concerned about what Endrin will be told of his father and the events of the past year or two."

"It did cross my mind," Rica admitted. It was dangerous but she had to say it. Endrin needed her to. Bhelen deserved her courage. "I do not believe you would tell Endrin you killed Trian and, as you said, if not you then it must have been Bhelen. No one else stood to benefit enough to take that risk. But whatever your feelings may have been, even if he were the one to kill Prince Trian, he is still Endrin's father."

"I know," Lady Aeducan said quietly. "Believe me when I say I have given the matter a lot of thought. I am responsible for one brother's death and I will not claim another one. I already have to try and make this make sense to him, that I am not terrible for having killed his father but that his father was not terrible for having been so killed. There are no easy answers."

"Do you believe Bhelen was not terrible?" Rica asked.

Lady Aeducan was silent for so long that Rica had to wonder if she had just decided not to answer her. Finally, she said, "He brought his death upon himself, if nothing else. If he had just bided his time and started planning how to succeed Harrowmont…But I suppose he felt he had sacrificed quite enough and was past waiting. He wasn't thinking clearly then. And he was my brother. And Bhelen was Endrin's father. And I am his aunt he will know far better than he ever knew the father he won't even remember. I need to find a way to make this make sense to him."

"Is that something you're concerned about?" Rica asked. "Preserving his memory? If what you claim were true, he killed your brother and forced you into an exile that should have killed you as well as hastening the death of your father."

Rica didn't believe it but the fact of the matter was that she wasn't there, that Bhelen was dead, and that what Lady Aeducan claimed happened would be the accepted narrative from now on.

"Not so much for his sake," Lady Aeducan conceded. "Though I did kill him in the end and that cannot be forgotten. But Endrin deserves not to have to hate or be ashamed of his father. There's…a lot about my father that I don't know for sure one way or another. I also preferred to believe the best. Bhelen was the opposite. Perhaps keeping the situation murky might be best. In the end, I won. Does it really matter how it happened? Perhaps it should, I don't know, but I'm here now regardless."

"You are."

Lady Aeducan looked at her again and sighed. "You don't believe me. That's fine. You can take Endrin away now, I'm sure he's getting hungry."

Rica hurried to scoop her child up and held him close.

Lady Aeducan climbed to her feet. "One day you will believe me. About some of it, at least. Or, at any rate, learn to live with it. One day this will get easier."

Rica merely bowed her head. "As you say, Lady Aeducan."


End file.
